spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
