i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
