before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
