that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
