I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Come share oat with me in your robe
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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