I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
