Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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