you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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