Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
