And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
