I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
