Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
