Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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