Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Are we still banned from the library?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
