someone get that fucking seahorse.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
