No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
