Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
