I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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