I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
