I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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