also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
