every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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