I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
