at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
