she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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