I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
