I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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