Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
