I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
