omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
