Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
