It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
