Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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