i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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