you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
