so explain again why im purple
no
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
