And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
