ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
