Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
