I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
