there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
