I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
