chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
