The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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