So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
