just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We're too hungover to prance.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize