how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
