garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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