Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
