I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
