I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
